When I saw the headline “Spammers Say the Darndest Things” on slashdot I just HAD to have a look at it if only out of morbid curiosity.  As it turns out, I’m glad I did, I kinda needed a good laugh.

It seems that Bill Sweetman has been collecting some of the more bizarrely funny and just plain bizarre subject lines from spam emails for years and recently posted a list of his top ten favorites.

Here’s just a few of the gems he posted:

1. “Small friend is for hiding, big friend is for showing off.”
Even if the product they are pitching works as promised, I still don’t think I would be walking around the neighbourhood showing off the results.

I can’t help it.  That reminds me of those commercials with “Smilin Bob” who’s had such a “BIG” change in his life since he started using a certain product.

5. “Make your love torpedo drive all the way to her tanker.”
Maybe I missed that SexEd class, but I’m not entirely clear on where I would find a woman’s tanker.

I have to admit, the location of or even the existence of a woman’s “tanker” is something that didn’t get covered in my biology class (In my day there wasn’t a sex-ed class).  and I’m quite certain that if you start talking to any woman about her “tanker” she’d definitely be wondering if you need some time in the nearest drug rehab clinic.

7. “Make your man’s carrot grow.”
What the heck are they selling, fertilizer?

Not only that but like the woman’s tanker, I have no clue about a man’s carrot.  Seems to me that if they’re seeing carrots then somebody’s been into too much of something and substance abuse treatment is definitely something they should consider quickly.

All in all, I have to agree with Mr. Sweetman, some of those spam subject lines are genuinely hilarious.  The only thing I’m wondering is what about the one’s aimed at women?  I’ve seen a good deal of those and it’s interesting that none of them managed to make the top ten list.

I can’t help wondering why?

Technorati Tags: subject lines, funny subject lines, top ten lines, spam

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