Ok, to be fair, it’s not entirely his fault.  He didn’t do it intentionally.  In fact, He may not even be aware that he did it.

George S. is a decent and for the most part fairly ordinary lifelong citizen of Nutjob Hills.  He goes about his daily life, working, taking out the garbage and mowing his lawn frequently enough to keep the hated (and secretly feared by many) grass police from having any reasons to visit his home in the middle of the night with their rubber hoses and seventeen pound lawnmower catalog.

He does however, have one failing that makes him unique in a very Nutjob Hills kind of way.  The man has absolutely the worst idea of fashion sense of anyone I’ve ever encountered.  Even worse than Joey P’s rainbow golf pants.

As a good example of what I mean, The other day I was at the Nutjob Hills Diner having lunch when George walked in.  I could tell without looking that it was him because the normal background buzz of conversation and dishes died down.  I had to look up out of sheer morbid curiosity.

He was sporting an emerald green t-shirt, a pair of blue and yellow plaid shorts and the most incredibly hideous looking Bright orange compression stockings that you’ve ever seen.  I honestly didn’t know that there was anything made in this bright of an orange.  It’s almost as if somebody injected an orange with several ounces of uranium and then exposed it to gamma radiation and extremely high voltage while x-raying it.  It was that much of an impossibly bright orange.

Since today is Friday I didn’t think to bring my sunglasses with me because George almost never eats at the Diner on Fridays.  Thanks to this unfortunate lapse on my part I am now suffering from an uncommon form of temporary partial blindness.

I can still see but everything is shaded in that UN-Earthly hue of orange.  Thankfully my exposure was limited to something less than two minutes so the effect will fade over the next few hours.

From now on I carry sunglasses with me everywhere.  It’s not worth the risk to leave them home.

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