Humor Archives

Building A New Car… NOT

One of the local nutjobs is at it again.  This one has decided that since he can’t afford to buy his dream car, that he’s going to build it instead.

As a result, He’s spent the last month buying Ferrari parts.  He’s already managed to get enough of them stored in his garage that he can no longer park his current Ford POS in there anymore and is still shopping for more parts.

He’s planning to buy all of the parts for his dream Ferrari and build the thing in his garage as he goes.  I can’t help wondering if he realizes that doing it this way is going to probably cost more than it would to just buy the thing new.

Technorati Tags: sportscar, nutjob, ferrari, humor

Why Doesn’t My Office Have A Lock On The Door?

I’ve wondered from time to time over the years just exactly why it is that my office door doesn’t have a lock on it that I can set from the inside when I’m busy.  I’ve even asked about it only to get looked at like I’d just arrived from Mars or something.

The thing is, I think it’d be a great idea.  Nothing says “No, Mr. Helpful, you are NOT welcome to barge into my office and start “helping” me when I’m busy.” like a door that locks from the inside.  I figure that along with having security on speed dial *might* just get the message across someday.

But then again I could be wrong.

Technorati Tags: security, door lock, irritant, mr helpful, moron

A Good Bad Example

In my previous post I mentioned the most annoying “Mr. Helpful” and how I really hoped that he wouldn’t see that post.  Fortunately he’s not the blog reading type.  He spends most of his online time researching “cures” for this or that problem that people around him have.

For example, one time he approached me with something he said was one of the best weight loss drinks in the world.  The problem is that I honestly can’t say which was worse, the habanero peppers or a substance he wouldn’t name (claiming it was a “family secret”) that smelled suspiciously like used cat litter.

In either case, you can well imagine why I wouldn’t let it near me, let alone drink it.  I will say that it was somewhat effective however.  After catching a whiff of it I had absolutely zero appetite for a good 18 hours afterward!

Technorati Tags: humor, weight loss, neighbor, moron, irritating

Cool Fake Movie Trailer

Why is a fake movie trailer cool? Well, in this case because it’s just SO convincing.  Without meaning any disrespect to women let’s face it.  Anybody above the age of 15 or so knows full well that there are times when things just ain’t so rosy.

It’s during those times when those men who actually have a clue take extra care to be sure to do the little things that help.  Like even if it IS the best zit cream on the planet, if it’s not the exact brand, size, shape, color, flavor, etc, etc that the lady asked for then we go out hunting and don’t return until we’ve found that exact thing because we’ve been there.  We *know* that what might not matter most of the time often DOES matter a heck of a lot and if our going that extra mile will make things easier for her then it’s worth it.

And besides, a wise man knows when to act in self preservation.

This trailer is an industrial strength exaggeration, but I think that’s part of what makes it funny.  I will advise however to be careful when showing it to your ladies.  There’s a real chance that many won’t find it so funny.  Even if most of the time they would.

If you watch Film Riot’s episodes six through nine you’ll see how the effects used in this were done and how to do them yourself.

Technorati Tags: hilarious, VideoProduction, film, tutorial, video, blood, movies, short, VideoEditing, zombies, guts, SpecialEffects, moviemaking, girls, editing, adobe after effects, ryan connolly, horror, making, production, action, gore, HollywoodFX, josh, film riot, AfterEffects, movie, comedy, MakeUp, timmy allen, funny, filmmaking FX

The Troll Menace

With the sixth installment I revisited the character of The Troll.  Partly because I had a lot of fun paying him but also because I think that there’s a LOT about our lives that he’s involved in.  A lot that we have to fight against every single day.  He is, without doubt, the very soul of greed and lust.

I thought the tagline for this one was pretty good also.

“He’s back.  This time he’s after more than just cheeseburgers.”

Technorati Tags: menace, star trek, phaser, tinfoil chef, multiple, funny, comedy, tinfoilchefdotcom, lust, troll, greed, star wars, equals pi, humor, =?, empire, lightsaber, personality, gluttony, emperor

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