Humor Archives

Star Trek Parody: Phat Trek ‘The Blob’ (part 1)

This is the first part of the second episode of my Star Trek parody series, Phat Trek.  In this episode the crew of the Enterprise encounters an alien ship that has been attacked and several of it’s crew taken captive.  The Enterprise pursues the attacker and discovers that the “blob” as the aliens called them, is the same race that they encountered recently.

Technorati Tags: science fiction, fan fiction, star trek, tos, parody, phat trek

Another Close Call

I had a second close call with getting new neighbors yesterday.  This time, instead of showing obvious signs of having several kids, this family showed clear indications that they’re very much into their entertainment.  Not only were they measuring walls to decide if they could fit their HDTV plasma screen in a good spot, they also had questions for the real estate agent about things that ranged from how much power could they draw from the electric service and would it be possible to get the service upgraded to higher amperage.  They also had several questions about local noise ordinances.

Honestly, hearing about that, I think I really dodged a bullet there.  The LAST thing I need is to have somebody move in that likes to shake the neighborhood with their stereo system!  I’ve had neighbors like that in the past and I’m not interested in more ever again.

Frankly, I think it’d be cool if the guy with the bologna sandwich habit were to move back in.  He may have been weird, always having a bologna sandwich in his pocket but at least he was quiet!

Technorati Tags: humor, nutjob hills

Hey buy.com, I’m In The Mood for Some Irony

I’m in one of those moods where I’d appreciate some really good irony right about now.

Specifically, I’ve been trying on and off all afternoon long to get my lawnmower started.  The problem is that the thing has not run since about a year ago last May and it’s almost nine years old.  It’s a good machine that I got on sale back in the spring of 2002.  I’ve replaced the factory original spark plug on it (which broke apart when removing it) and gassed it up but so far, I have done nothing but yank on the starter cord countless times and it still hasn’t started.

After just trying again a few minutes ago, I’m more than ready to say the heck with it and do something with at least a little bit of ironic humor to it.  Specifically, I’m thinking it would be a great idea to sit down and watch a double feature of both of the movies in the Lawnmower Man series..

When I checked however, the irony doubled up.  I’m going to have to get the Lawnmower Man DVD set because I found out that the only copies I have of them are a couple of ten year old VHS tapes in questionable condition.  Ain’t that just peachy?

At least it’s a heck of a lot easier to find than Peter Jackson’s Lord of The Rings movies.  The only copies of them I can find are all on Blu-Ray and I don’t have a Blu-Ray player.

So, I’ll see about getting that new DVD set soon and in the meantime, I’m going to dial up the irony meter and watch both movies to the extent possible on ten year old VHS tapes.

Technorati Tags: vhs, lawnmower man, lawnmower, dvd, irony

The Man Who Would Cure Zombies

One of the more “eccentric” people here in Nutjob Hills is Joey (not his real name).  Joey’s got a rather big problem on his mind.  Zombies.  He’s convinced that something needs to be done about the zombie population and he has spent most of the last year doing a considerable amount of research on the subject.  (Regardless of what you or I may think about the subject, Joey is dead serious and you will *NEVER* convince him zombies aren’t real so don’t try.)

His latest theory is that many people become zombies after their deaths because in life they didn’t get enough sleep.  Therefore he’s been spending a lot of time on sites like www.bestsleepingpill.org and others learning everything he can about every form of sleep aid that he can find.  His idea is to create some kind of a chemical cocktail out of a carefully selected group of sleep aids and use that both to treat existing zombies and as a preventative treatment for people who would otherwise become zombies.

He’s even gone so far as to acquire something of an arsenal of tranquilizer guns and darts that can be filled with his concoction when he finally completes it.

I’m just hoping that some alternate theory can be devised and presented to him in a way that he will accept it and try working on something that won’t have him end up darting people in a shopping mall someplace.

Technorati Tags: weird, zombies, nutjob hills, odd

Rude Awakening

I had one of those really rude wake up calls this morning.  However it wasn’t the phone, it was the cat.

He was sitting next to his food and water dishes, meowing in the loudest, most insistent tone he could manage.  He let out a head splitting yowl once every six or seven seconds for at least thirty minutes until I was finally awake enough to get up and refill his food and water.

That’s all he wanted.  He’s been mercifully silent ever since.

Honestly, I don’t mind that he lets me know when he needs something.  I just wish he wouldn’t do it at 5:30 am!

Technorati Tags: humor, cats, cat stories

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