Humor Archives

Eating in Color

Mr. X (not the same guy from previous entry) went to his doctor for his yearly physical.  The results weren’t great.  His blood pressure was up, as was his cholesterol and his weight.

When the doctor told him that he needed to start eating right, he replied that he’s always had a very hard time sticking with it because there were so many complex rules and needs to take into account.  The doc said that eating properly does not have to be a big complicated deal.

He told him to just think in colors when getting his food.  Make sure to include plenty of greens, yellows, & reds, and the result would be a lot more balanced than he had been eating and that he’d feel better quickly.

He went straight home and had a bowl of M & M’s

Technorati Tags: humor, weight loss

m & mAnd sure enough, I felt better immediately.

I never knew eating right could be so easy.

My Super Secret Project Revealed

After a lot of delays in getting “Troll Wars – Episode 2” finished.  I have FINALLY been able to get the next video in that story completed!

Phat Trek Episode 1 – Phat Attack” is two things.  1, it’s the next part of the story, picking up where “Troll Wars – Episode 2” left off.  2, It is the beginning of a series of Star Trek parody videos that I hope will run for a long time.

Phat Trek Episode 1 – Phat Attack” is the beginning of the adventures of Tiberius T. Crane as he embarks on the mission as captain of the starship Enterprise as part of a dream sequence that began in “Troll Wars – Episode 1” and continued in “Troll Wars – Episode 2“.

His mission is one of self discovery and self mastery using the vehicle of stellar exploration and contact with alien life forms in a previously unexplored region of the galaxy.  The ship and crew are on their own, at the beginning they are far enough from home that contact with Starfleet command requires no less than three weeks to receive a response via subspace radio.

Aside from The Troll, only the captain, played by the primary personality from Troll Wars, is aware that this is a dream situation.

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Weight Loss In Nutjob Hills

One of the locals here in Nutjob Hills has managed to come up with a rather unique and amazingly effective means of quick weight loss.  You see, he’d been gaining weight for a couple of years and was starting to get concerned about it and decided to lose weight so he went to his doctor and asked what he recommended.

The doctor suggested that he try a fairly new diet.  He told him to eat normal meals for two days, then skip a day and repeat this routine for two weeks and return to the doctor.  The doctor told him that he expected the man to lose at least five pounds.

When he returned to the doc’s office two weeks later the doctor was amazed with his results.  He had lose a whopping 60 pounds.

The doc asked if he’d followed the directions and the man insisted that he’d done exactly what the doctor had ordered.  His only complaint was that he felt like he was going to die on the third day of that three day routine.

The doctor assured him that there was no way he could die of hunger not eating one day in three.  The man corrected him saying that it was not the hunger that was the problem.

It was all that skipping.

Technorati Tags: weight loss, diet, humor

Troll Wars – Episode 2

After taking WAY longer to get this thing done than I had wanted, It’s *FINALLY* done!

I had to re-shoot things a bunch of times.  It took half of forever to get the sound to come out even remotely passable and I re-did the final rendering no less than seven times but it’s finally done!

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Missing Irritant

It’s an unusual situation, even for nutjob hills.  Mr. Helpful’s wannabe apprentice hasn’t been around trying to convince me that I should check out prevera and a number of other weight loss aids for some time.

The last time he was seen is over two weeks ago.  At that time he was trying to convince some rather rough people that he could set them up with a series of anger management courses that would help them be somewhat less rough and more accepted among the general population.

Of course, what he didn’t take into account is the fact that these people rather like being rough and feel that it’s up to everybody else to just deal with it.  I suspect that they’ve convinced him that he needs an extended vacation somewhere well out of their reach.

Technorati Tags: humor, nutjob hills, odd

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