Humor Archives

If The Obama Administration Was A Woman

*NOTE* To the ladies who read this blog: I want to clarify here that I am NOT picking on women, I’m picking on the Obama administration.

If the Obama administration was a woman, plus size lingerie would fit her like a micro-bikini fits Hollywood’s hottest starlet.

Her appetite for chocolate, like the Obama administration’s appetite for taxes, would outstrip any woman before her.

When you took her out she would always say she’s not hungry and then order the biggest, most expensive thing on the menu.  Twice.

Her house would be a complete pig sty, yet she would tell others how to clean house.

She would never cook, yet she would insist on three course dinners as a standard meal.

She would say she loves you, even though it’s obvious that mashed potatoes and gravy are far more important to her than you are.

She would use an electric power fork, yet insist that you observe all the rules of dining etiquette.

The heaviest thing she would lift is a seven layer lasagna.

She would insist that she was born in Hawaii in spite of the fact that you know she was born in Kenya.

She would require you to be dressed to the nines at all times while she scarred your psyche by lounging around naked.

The “two second rule” would be extended to twenty minutes.

She would brag to everybody else that you satisfy her totally and then in private she’d spend hours telling you how inadequate you are.

When something bad happened, she’d talk big and want to know “whose ass to kick”, yet even when the answer is clear for everyone to see nothing would happen.

She would have the largest arse in creation and be the biggest mistake you’ve made in over 200 years.

Feel free to add to this list in the comments!

Technorati Tags: political humor, mistake, humor, obama

Funny Commercial

In my day I have seen some funny, often strange commercials but I can’t help wondering who came up with the idea for this one.  It tries to present a cure for hair loss in the form of a snickers candy bar.  I can’t help wondering though, if the candy bar is the cure, why is the bald guy standing in front of the mirror straining like he’s trying to force the hairs to suddenly grow?  Can you say “inconsistency”?

Technorati Tags: hair loss, commercial, candy bar, humor, bald

Proof Cats Drink

Ever wondered if your cat has a drinking problem?  Well, the cat in this video should serve as a good example of several things, not the least of which is that he’s desperately in need of a safe weight loss pill because he looks more like a beach ball with fur.  Second, is the classic “hiccup and fart” symptom.  The worst sign however, is that after doing this, the cat leans forward to take a sniff of the fart he just cut.

Technorati Tags: hiccup, funny, fart, video, humor, animal humor, cat

Y’know What’s REALLY Annoying?

One of THE most annoying things in the world is an orange.  Specifically, The Annoying Orange, a character that has become strangely popular on YouTube.  His personality is like every annoying person you’ve ever met all rolled up into one round fruity package.  He’s the kind of guy that would convince a skinny person to buy phentermine and then laugh at them for doing something stupid.  He’s the kind of guy that loves to see you fail in some way so that he can nail you with that horrendous laugh of his.

Here’s a typical example:

Technorati Tags: orange, annoying, humor, youtube, video, popular

HAL’s Real Problem

Over the years I have heard and read all kinds of theories about why HAL went nuts in the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey but I think that this is, if not the most likely, certainly one of the funniest theories I’ve seen

Technorati Tags: hal, insane computer, 2001, movie, hal 9000, humor

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