Nutjob Hills Archives

Good Idea Bad Reaction

It all started because Ralph was jealous.  He had seen several of his friends start businesses and become reasonably successful.  While none of them were “rich”, they all had plenty of money for everything they needed and a lot of what they wanted.

Not so for Ralph.  He continued scraping by from paycheck to paycheck, seemingly always short of money and having to balance very carefully which bills were paid when to keep from falling very far behind on any one of them.

Finally he decided to take a shot at going into business.  It took him six months of very careful budgeting to save enough to get started.  Finally he placed an add in a national men’s magazine offering pictures of a 20 year old nude Farah Facet.  He even went so far as to offer Free Shipping.

Later he ended up not renewing his advertisement after he got reactions from several customers who were very dis-satisfied with the pictures that he sent them.

Personally I don’t know why they complained.  They got exactly what he promised.  The pictures were of a twenty year old faucet that very clearly had the name “Farah” stamped on them.  No clothing was evident in any of the pictures so therefore they were nude.

“Caveat Emptor”

Not Your Father’s Ragtop

Once again Joey C. is taking a stab at going into business for himself.  This would be the sixth attempt to start a business that actually runs at a profit and has some kind of a future.

Like his previous attempts, this one has something unusual about it.  He considers this to be an absolutely brilliant idea and he doesn’t understand why nobody has tried this before.

I first found out about it one day when having morning coffee at the Nutjob Hills diner when Joey came in and handed out some advertising that he had made up at one of those online flyer printing e-business websites.

It turns out that he’s opening a “slightly used car lot” which will specialise in rag-tops.  However these are not your father’s rag-tops. No. In fact these aren’t actually convertibles at all. (for those not familiar with the term, the expression “ragtop” is often used to refer to a convertible)

These are actually normal used cars with a lot of brightly colored rags glued to the roof.  Joey says it’s to hide the fact that the paint is worn and peeling.  He says that the rags are a lot cheaper than a paint job and give the cars a really “colorful” look.

I give this one a week, tops.

The Interior Decorator

Nutjob Hills is, as I’ve said for a long time now, a somewhat strange little town that is populated by a fairly high percentage of somewhat strange and often downright crazy people.  This is one example.

Joey B. is a kid that is graduating high school this spring.  He’s a lot like most kids his age with one exception.  He actually has a very firm idea of what kind of work he wants to do.  Specifically, he wants to go into business as an interior decorator.

What’s strange about that you ask?  Nothing.  The strangeness comes in when you see what his idea of a great interior looks like.  You’ve no doubt seen yards where people have birdbaths or some kind of outdoor fountains.  Joey has this idea, he calls it revolutionary and is certain that it will be THE big thing in interiors over the next ten years.

What he wants to do is start a trend of people having fountains . . . indoors.

These fountains would be a centerpiece of a living room or den.  In homes with large enough bathrooms they could even be functional as part of the shower system.

Somehow I get the feeling that Joey might just be in for a rude surprise when he finds out that not very many people are going to want a fountain in their living room.  If only because it’d get in the way of the TV.

Single Minded Mechanic

So not long ago I was working on a particularly frustrating ship design for Kerbal Space Program.  The problem was however that I just couldn’t seem to get certain parts to attach in the way that I needed them to.

I spent several days trying everything I could think of.  Part of the issue is a bug in the VAB that often times prevents things from attaching radially even though they’re supposed to be able to attach that way.

Normally the way to fix this is to attach said part to any location that will accept it and then move it to where you want it.  However in this case it just wouldn’t work.  I was talking about this to somebody at the Nutjob Hills Diner and a local mechanic suggested that I use some large u bolts to strap the two parts together.

This mechanic, known locally as “U”, has a strange fixation on u bolts.  For reasons only he truely understands, he will go out of his way to use a u bolt at every possible opportunity when fastening any given two part together, even when they look like total crap as a result.

When I told him that I’d be glad to try his suggestion but Kerbal Space Program does not have u bolts he said, with a dismayed look on his face, that it was clearly broken and needed to have them added.

I decided not to pursue the issue and drop it.  He’d never have understood that building rockets that way just plain wouldn’t work.

Backing Up BS

No, I’m not referring to the concept of making backup copies of BS, that would at least have the potential to make some form of something that at least resembles “sense” (though not common).

It seems that certain rumormongers have taken exception to statements that I’ve made indicating that I know for a fact that rumors about Bob are totally and completely false.  One such rumormonger even claimed that he could produce emails from a well known Raleigh accountant that would easily verify such things as Bob purchasing several tens of thousands of dollars worth of cigars and humidors to put them in and even a metal outbuilding to store those in.

I don’t doubt that he could.  For that matter, given a bit of time to do some research I have no doubt that *I* could produce such an email.  That however wouldn’t make it the least bit genuine.

IF such an email were to appear and have a verifiable legitimate PGP signature created with the private key of a well known accountant, using the same key that he uses on all of his correspondence, then maybe they’d have something.  But you see, I know for a fact that they’ll never produce anything like that.

Because the claims in those rumors are false.  I know they’re false and they know that I know they’re false.

It’s time they packed up and went home

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