Vlogging Archives

It’s Really Tired Out

I’m tired.  Not just physically tired and in need of sleep to restore the body to fully waking status.  I’m talking about being mentally and emotionally tired.

I’m talking about being exhausted from trying to come up with things to make my videos better and more engaging so that more people will watch them and share them with their friends and family.

I’m talking about how incredibly, awesomely weary I am of looking at things I have written and thinking “Damn, that sucks” in spite of how much effort I may have put into writing it at the time.

I’m tired of spending hour after hour after hour after hour writing in my blogs, doing keyword research and optimizing my posts for both human readers and for search engines all in an effort to squeeze a few more visitors out of them, hoping and praying that their precious clicks on adverts will increase enough so that I can actually earn a living wage that pays all of my bills and leaves a bit for me for the first time since 1997.

Basically, I’m tired of working my ass off and getting little to no return for it.

If you think that just because I don’t have a job working for somebody else that I’m just a lazy good for nothing sot leaching off of society you’ve got another think coming.

YOU try making two videos a day and keeping up with writing on six blogs while trying to be creative in both writing and video making!

I’ve been doing the daily video thing for almost two years now and ya’know what?  I’m TIRED!  Nearly burned out in fact.  The creativity that used to come so easily for making videos is all but gone.  Worn to a frazzle.

As for writing, I’ve been doing that since around 1998.  Then I started this blog in February 2006.  Since then I’ve had to expand to writing in five more blogs aside from this one.  In that time I have written a total of well over 2,500 blog posts.

At an average of 250 words each that comes out to me having written approximately 625,000 words in the last six years.  Can you blame me for feeling tired and like my creativity has been stretched so thin that it’s almost impossible to see anymore?

What’s almost scary is that lately I have been giving serious thought to starting to write actively in a seventh blog.

As you can see, my writing, while I honestly love doing it is yet another form of creativity that has been pushed and pushed and pushed until 99 percent of what I write is, in my personal opinion, total, absolute, shit.

I’m tired of scraping by most of the time, having the occasional financial blessing that lets me get caught up for a few months and then gradually start falling behind again.

Frankly I need a break, a vacation from all this responsibility to keep working my ass off to earn every stinking penny I can.  A vacation from having to rack my brains every single day trying desperately to come up with something, anything, that will draw more readers, more viewers, and more clicks.

Too bad I cannot afford to take such a vacation.  Not even for one day.  I dare not stop writing and I dare not stop making videos because I desperately need every cent those things generate, precious little though it may be.

So why am I writing this?  Because if I do not at the very least, vent, I’m gonna go totally fucking nuts, that’s why.

I mean, it would be a lot easier to deal with all this shit if I didn’t have to be doing it alone.  and I’m not referring to just having “someone to talk to” either.  That’s all well and good but I want more than that.

I’ve been alone entirely too long (as in literally most of my life) and I think that having somebody to not only talk to but curl up with when I’m not feeling good would do wonders.  Not that I’d want to stop there. Oh no.

However that’s another subject entirely


Ever notice how you can so easily get into habits regarding when you do things?

For example in the early days of my youtube video making career I had a habit of making my videos early in the morning, usually before 11:00am and it worked great.  It meant that once that video was uploaded I had no need to concern myself with “what am I going to talk about in this video” for the rest of the day.

Oh it’s true that I’d jot down notes about things that might be good talking points in the next days video but there was no pressure involved.  It was just causally recording a few thoughts that I could review the next morning and turn into a video.

Since then I fell behind.  One delaying circumstance after another had me getting things done later and later.  Before long I was making videos at 10:00pm or later, hurrying like mad to get it uploaded before midnight, always working against the pressure of that self imposed deadline of midnight for the day’s video.

It’s a long time since the last time I tried (unsuccessfully I might add) to change back to the morning schedule and now I’m thinking that it’s long past time to give it another shot.  I’m sick of having the pressure to come up with something good right away only minutes before the deadline, often not getting the video uploaded before 2:30am.

Time to get the schedule back on track and take the pressure off.  Maybe then I’ll have an easier time of coming up with better videos that people actually want to watch and subscribe to my channel because of.

Technorati Tags: timing, pressure, video schedule, youtube, schedule, time, videos

Who Smashed My Idea With A Writer’s Block?

Actually I should say “Ideas”, plural, because in the last three weeks or so I’ve had several ideas for videos that I thought were really good ones but I’ve been unable to write anything even remotely resembling an acceptable script for any of them.

This means that these good ideas are sitting on a shelf in the back of my mind gathering dust and mold, going nowhere.

Meanwhile I’m unable to do anything with those good video ideas and instead can do little more than pump out daily vlogs about whatever I can think of at the time.  Were the ideas flowing more freely I’d probably be getting those vlogs produced and uploaded in the mornings like I PREFER to do.  As it is, they generally don’t happen until late at night these days.

Here’s hoping something changes soon.  I NEED those ideas and scripts to start flowing again!

Technorati Tags: writer’s block, scripts, ideas, video

One Goal Achieved!

Last week I achieved one of my goals and only now have had time to post about it.  Back on March 17, 2009 I created what has since become my main youtube channel TinFoilChefDotCom.

At the start I was just doing cooking videos and not posting them very often at that.  Then in November of that year I started Vlogging about weight loss and my very major need to lose lots of weight because I had passed 350 pounds.

Videos started being a lot more frequent, almost daily until on Sep 23 I joined the youtube orbit, which is a group of vloggers who have committed to doing a video every day for at least a year (one orbit around the sun).

Over all this time my video making skills got better, the video quality improved and I’ve begun to find a niche or three that I’m not only comfortable with but I’m also having fun with.

Then last week, after applying for the second time, I achieved youtube partnership.  That achievement resulted in this video.

Enjoy it, I’m never going to do THIS particular stunt again.  :-)

Technorati Tags: shave, ask tfc, partner, orbit, beard, coolness, Im a partner, yto, last week, extreme, tinfoilchefdotcom

Introducing: Order

There’s been way too many times when I’ve had no idea what a video was going to be about until I finally sat down and hit Record on the camera.  Those days are DONE!!  It’s long past time I introduced some structure to my life and videos and it begins with this schedule.

Technorati Tags: planning, weigh in, weight loss, organizing, order, video schedule, structure

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